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Reaching out again to women living in Domestic Violence situations. Thank you for your support.
“I own you. You belong to me. Your emotional you need to get help. Repeatedly and daily my abuser would just blurt out these words. Everything earned while I was married went in my abuser’s name solely. Stocks, bonds the house and even the pool key. I had to ask for the use of the pool key. I thought he had Asperger’s I thought this is the way American men behave. I had no idea at the time, that other women lived any other way. I kept making excuses for his abusive behavior. I remember raising these issues in the 4 years of marriage therapy and four different therapist and I remember how he justified his controlling ways – it was always my fault for the abuse. Sound familiar? It should because currently the mindset of just about everyone who hasn’t experienced Domestic Violence is focused on the actions of the victim and not the abuser, including judges and law enforcement.
I am reaching out to tell you that victims are falsely accused for the actions of abusive people daily. Abusers use control, manipulation and exploit you in any way they can. Abuse is defined as the mistreatment of someone regularly and repeatedly. Victims are manipulated into believing that they deserved it. Our neighbors, friends and sometime families perpetuate the abuse because they make excuses for the abuser. They are being manipulated and you are not crazy. You deserve to live your life free of abuse, everyone does.
We are in a Pandemic these are the situations that abusers will exploit – if you are in danger call 911. I know its hard but call a Domestic Violence Shelter or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Trust in those trained in DV, trust yourself and know you are not alone nor the cause of the abuse.
Sincerely,
Judi-Beth Atwood
Longmont CO 80501
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